Do you remember when Amazon only sold… wait for it… BOOKS?? And it was so exciting to get your box with books inside? I remember once they even sent along a sheet of penny stamps with my package because postage was going up. Can you imagine?? Mailing letters while you listened to music illegally on Napster?? How adorable and quaint!
Fast forward (holy shit- over 20 years!!) and we now live in a world where if you can’t buy it on Amazon, it must be really special. I can’t be the only one who shops on her phone while in bed at night, right? Anyway, here are some of my recent Amazon purchases, and my hopes and dreams about how they will improve my life.
Yep, that’s right- I ordered a box of rubber balls. I swear it’s for a good reason! See, I’m a massage therapist, and I also really love lifting weights, and I’m in my 40’s, so I know (and feel) the importance of self massage and mobility work. In the past, I’ve used tennis balls and lacrosse balls for self care, but I find tennis balls too big, and lacrosse balls too firm. The pinky ball, however, is the Goldilocks ball I didn’t know I needed until I bought one at a conference earlier this year. It has just the right balance of squish and resistance, so it works your soft tissue without crushing you. I bought a box so I can give them out to my clients, and also to keep one in my bag, one on my coffee table, one in my husband’s gym bag…
Aspirational Jess really thinks she will do soft tissue work on herself all the time. I will be soooooo mobile and pain-free!
In reality, I’m a human being, so I’ve maybe worked on my shoulders here and there, and I do like to roll it under my feet, but the other night it rolled away and I haven’t moved the couch to get it yet, so….
More balls! This time they are adorable wool balls you put in your dryer in lieu of fabric softener, which is bad for performance/sport fabrics (like half my wardrobe) and absorbent fabrics (like towels).
Aspirational Jess is hoping this is a greener option, since not only will I not need to buy/use traditional fabric softener or dryer sheets, they will also reduce dry time. You can add your own scent via essential oils, plus they are sooooo cute!
In reality, the jury is still out- my laundry might be drying faster? But I’m not so sure it is any softer/less static-y than usual? And they are kind of loud, thumping around in the dryer.
My gym is usually playing terrible music, and most often they don’t even have anything on besides ESPN. So like most gym-goers, I like to have headphones on and have personal dance parties between sets. Everyone does this, right? Anyway, I’m really picky about my headphones- very few earbuds work for me for long (they start to ache or fall out) and I hate the feeling of the ones that hook around your ears. I found the best fitting/most comfortable ones a bunch of years ago when I was still running, and I still keep those in my bag and use them almost daily. Problem is, though, that they have a cord, and thus I need to attach my phone to my body somehow. I’ve used armbands in the past, but they are big and sweaty and get in the way if I’m working with kettlebells. I got a fanny pack thing, and that just slid all over. Lately I’ve been using a clip-on holder, which is a) ugly and b) in the way half the time while pulling my pants down and c) looks like I’m expecting a page from 1997. I decided to concede to a wireless option- I did buy the Bluetooth version of my beloved YurBuds last year, but the bluetooth component was really heavy, and they didn’t fit as well as the corded version. So, in a weak moment of marketing susceptibility, I clicked on an Amazon email offering a selection of Bluetooth headphones.
Aspirational Jess thinks these are going to be THE ANSWER- they have great reviews, and the guy in the demo video is basically doing parkour in them! Plus they are noise cancelling, so they’ll protect me from the one guy at the gym who yells and grunts and is always trying to sell supplements to everyone between sets.
In reality… to be honest, I just got them yesterday so I haven’t given them a proper test drive yet, but I have been wearing them around the house (even right now!). They sound GREAT- there is a good amount of warmth and bass. The controls are easy, it paired to my phone instantly, and it seems like the battery life will be great. They might be they tiniest bit big? And maybe a little heavy- I’m trying to decide if they are fatiguing my neck and squishing my head/making my jaw feel funny. They look super nerdy but I’m ok with it- I think I just need to get used to them.
This was definitely a purchase made at night, in bed, after a long day where my neck and shoulders were just screaming. Why NOT have a hottie around? It’s the perfect, super low tech option for warming up tired muscles, helping relieve cramps, and just generally feeling snuggly. Especially after seeing the movie “Hunt For The Wilderpeople”, I’ve secretly been wanting to pick one up.
Aspirational Jess is going to use this all the time- my neck is always super cranky, and I have chronic back pain. Plus, I tell my clients to put heat on their problem areas all the time!
Reality: It’s still in the package.
What has changed your life lately? Can I buy it on Amazon? What’s the stupidest thing you’ve gotten because AmazonPrime is faster then making time to go to the store sometimes?
I bought all of this with my own money, usually at random times. These are regular links, not affiliate links.