Product Test Drive: The Quest for Beautiful Lady Feet

ladyfeetA few Fridays ago, I found myself with a few (rare) hours to myself. I wandered around Ulta a bit and came upon the TonyMoly display. I’ve used TonyMoly face masks in the past, and liked them a lot- Korean beauty products are some next level stuff. So, when I came upon the “Changing U Magic Foot Peeling Shoes”… I mean, how can I pass that up?? At $6.99 plus a bottle of rose’, it was easy to decide that my Friday night would be made of magic. And feet.

I regret that I did not document this experience more thoroughly. Honestly, I had pretty low expectations: 1. How much can $6.99 do? 2. The ingredients list things like apples, lemons, grapes, aloe, rose hip oil… I wasn’t scared. 3. My feet, while not super hideous, are pretty beat up. I train barefoot, and often work barefoot, so I didn’t expect this tiny packet to perform a miracle.

Most of the instructions are in Korean. The English instructions on the package begin with the statement “steps that can transform and average-looking woman into an attractive lady”. Obviously, yes, that is what we are here for, and I appreciate your straight-forward attitude, TonyMoly.

ladyfeetinstructions

However, you must begin this process looking like a hobo by putting giant paper socks on your feet for 90 minutes. They were wet and squishy inside, but pleasant smelling. I had to wear my Adidas slides in order to not kill myself moving around the house. Vogue is going to be all over this look come fall.

After an hour and a half, the instructions say to just wash your feet. Don’t scrub or peel them forcefully, because in “4 to 6 days, the dead cells will naturally start falling off your feet”. Oh, ok. And then it will take up to 2 weeks to see results. Whatever- I rinsed my feet, saw no visible difference (maybe they were a little softer?), and went on with my life.

I wasn’t prepared for the horror.

The following Monday, I was enjoying my kettlebell class, barefoot, as you do. We were doing a move that requires standing up from a kneeling lunge. I looked down, and realized the tops of my feet, which had been rubbing against the floor, were peeling. I looked around my feet, and noticed I was leaving flakes of skin on my yoga mat. I joked that I hoped no one got murdered at the studio, because my DNA was everywhere.

I resigned myself to wearing socks the rest of the week. My feet looked like they were peeling from a nasty sunburn, minus the burn part. On Friday (one week past the initial treatment), I decided to do some deadlifts during a break in clients. Barefoot. I wasn’t paying attention to the snowstorm that occurred as I removed my socks. I hinged over to grab the barbell, and OH DEAR GOD. My feet were peeling from all sides!! I was leaving NICKEL SIZED CHUNKS OF SKIN all over the floor!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?! Even the sides of my toes were peeling!! It was truly a terror. I jammed my shoes back on for the remainder of my workout, and that night, gave my feet a thorough pumice stone scrubbing.

after scrubbing. not kidding.

after scrubbing. not kidding.

It didn’t help. It was like I was trying to unravel a skin-sweater, and someone kept knitting… and knitting… and knitting…

I wondered if I would even still have feet after this.

Another week has gone by, and I am pleased to report that I do, in fact, still have feet! And they are mostly done peeling… I think. Are they the feet of a beautiful lady? Well, I would say they are slightly softer in places, but my heels are still on the rough side. I do not feel inclined to ever do this again, but if you want to try it, I would recommend waiting until winter, when your feet are generally hidden away. Next time, I think I’ll just stick to their face masks and pony up for a pedicure.

Want us to test drive something? Ask, and we might! Unless it’s scary. Or painful. Or permanent. xo

 

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