New Year, New You?

We are half-way through January. Are you feeling yourself and your New Year’s resolve? Being visited by the ghost of failed resolutions: past, present and future? Or was this the year you bagged calendar driven proclamations completely?

In the past, I did a major cleanse starting Jan. 1 (or 2.) It was intense: vegan, gluten-free, no alcohol, no caffeine and no sugar. It was a lot. But I usually did it with a group of people including Jess and Pamela. There was something kinda fun about being on a journey–although a super frustrating, long and cranky one at that–with friends and sharing stories about things that were working or what we were learning about ourselves in the process. In fact–the idea for this blog was born out of that experience.

So it was successful. And I’m glad I did it. But I don’t do it anymore.

Over the holidays, I had breakfast with my cousin–the one I told you about–and we talked about resolutions and dreams and personal challenges that block us from accomplishing our goals. It was nice. I always find comfort in knowing I’m not alone, especially in ways that feel so personal. It’s freeing to know all the barriers I create for myself aren’t exclusively mine. It’s easier to see them in others, which make them seem less permanent structures in my own life.

So I want to dedicate a few posts to resolutions and what they say about us and how we can learn from them in ways that we maybe weren’t expecting. While I’m not doing the cleanse this year, 2018 ended with an experience that really impacted how I have prepared for 2019, including setting resolutions. More on that to come…

For today, I’m going to start this little series by going back to my cousin. Based on our conversation, she wrote this post and has since started her own blog. I’m proud of her and happy to know someone who has already said “yes” to 2019. She identified barriers and worked around them. Something I hope to do more of this year, too.

Fear Or F.E.A.R.

A 2019 Resolution

Occasionally I find myself thinking about if I was an animal (and yes , I realize people technically ARE animals but I mean animals as in “not human” animals) and what kind of animal I would be. Is there an animal that I relate to? Do I relate to more than one? I believe I do relate to more than one…maybe I relate to different things about different animals. Like some days I really understand what it means to be a sloth or a even an ordinary house cat hissing at something I don’t like. But as I’m getting older I find myself thinking about things on a different (maybe even bizarre) level. I think if I had to choose an animal that I tend to see myself as it would have to be a deer. And not just a regular deer….a deer in headlights that is second- guessing it’s own movements.

As I have been getting further into the decades of my life, I find myself contemplating my entire existence. I have not always been pleased with my choices and looking back, I see the common denominator of what was and has been holding me back in many areas. Or what has been the cause of my getting into situations that I don’t much care for. That one thing is fear. That’s how I feel that I relate to deer. They are born into a world that basically is out to get them….to eat them actually. Other animals and humans too. Deer need to be suspicious, cautious and well, basically scared in order to keep themselves safe. When I see deer, I watch how they are always on alert and quick to startle and run away. They need to do that for survival. That’s sort of how I feel that I have been living my own life. I did certain things and didn’t do other things out of fear.

As an overly sensitive child (and now, overly sensitive adult) I didn’t do certain things that I wanted to do because I was afraid of what might happen. I was always afraid of what someone might think, that it would be the wrong thing to do, that I wouldn’t be good at what I tried or just thinking I didn’t deserve to have what I really wanted. Most of the time I did things to just please everyone else. I felt it was expected of me so that’s what I did.

Deer also do have some “en-deer-ing” qualities (see what I did there?). Deer are quick on their feet and graceful. Sometimes I’m graceful. Other times I trip over air. Does also tend to be good mothers to their fawns. Instinct helps in regards to parenting, as does the fear. I was afraid of what might happen so I was sure to be highly cautious and on guard when it came to my kids. Hopefully, that is at least one good thing that came from my fear driven life. Fear can be a helpful thing and we can’t go through life totally fearless about everything. If we did, well, not many of us would even make it to adulthood. Fear does have it’s place. Until it’s crippling. I do believe that that’s where the second guessing comes in to play. I have always been a huge second guesser. On my drive home tonight, I came upon two deer and they did their normal panic and were unsure which way to go. One went one direction and the other went opposite. This time their decisions kept them alive. Other times they second guess and back track and a lot of times they wind up as road kill. I was thinking about the two deer and how they split and went two different directions. Fear sent the one deer back the way that it came. The other moved forward. I thought about that and about how many times I was afraid to move forward in my life. Or if I eventually did, it took me a long time. A lot of overanalyzing on my part. I, too, was afraid of becoming road kill.

It also made me realize that I am entirely sick of living this way. I was talking with my good friend (and cousin) recently and we discussed the second guessing that I have always been plagued with. She said she never second guesses herself because everyone else does it for her. I found that absolutely fascinating and a great way to look at it. One of the things that held me back was worrying about what other people think. How oddly liberating it is to think that if everyone else is judging my decisions and second guessing me….then I don’t have to. They’re doing it for me which frees me up to live and do what I want.

I recently read that fear has two meanings. One is to think like the deer – Forget Everything And Run. I’ve done that for far too long. I like the second meaning better – Face Everything And Rise. So one of my goals for the coming year and hopefully for the rest of my life is to follow the second definition of fear. I’m tired of hiding and playing it safe. As hard as it is for me to put myself out there and maybe even draw attention to myself, I’m going to do it. I have to.

Wanna share your experience with resolutions? We’d love to hear it. Either comment below or DM our Facebook page to submit a post!

Standouts and Game Changers of 2018!

Another year is in the books, and you know we LOOOOOOOVE a good round-up of favorites! We’ve got beauty we can’t stop reaching for, life changing products, and things that just make life better. And away! We! Go!

Jess

LanoLips 101 Ointment Multipurpose Superbalm

Pamela gifted this to me last year, and as winter tries to turn me into dust, this stuff is a lifesaver. I put it on my lips every night before bed, and it’s still a little bit there in the morning! It’s also great for those dry spots that show up around your nose, or cuticles, or basically anywhere. I hope to never be without it!

Fenty Beauty Stunna Lip Paint in Uncuffed

I know Lyn has gotten us all to buy something Fenty over the past year or so, and with good reason: this shit is bananas. I picked up the shade Uncuffed during one of the V.I.B. events late last year, and it is PERFECTION. The shade is the absolute perfect rosy mauve, which is my go-to shade for “I don’t want to look dead but I don’t want hot pink lips today” every day wear. The formula is truly weightless, and while it’s not 100% transfer-proof, it’s pretty locked in, and it fades without getting clumpy or flaky. I reach for this almost every day, and it lasts through coffee and lunch and life.

Wet n Wild Ultimate Brow Retractable Brow Pencil

While I love the Kat Von D Brow Struck Dimension powder and think it’s seriously a stand out this year in the world of brow products, I find myself reaching for this $4 pencil nearly every day. It applies soooo quickly and easily and lasts all day. KVD comes out to play if I’m being fancy, but this guy is my ride or die right now.

Saalt Menstrual Cup

Early in the year, I was maybe 85% thinking about making the switch to menstrual cups; when Pamela told me she was switching, it was enough to make me take the plunge. After trying an ok, but not quite right cup the first go around, I found the Saalt cup on Amazon and it is my glass slipper. I like the Saalt because it is a softer silicone, made for “”active women. It’s totally comfortable, and haven’t had any leak issues despite deadlifting, working on my feet, dancing, sleeping… whatever. Plus, it just feels… well, less gross overall!! They last for years, so a bonus is that it feels great to not be throwing/flushing so much (including dolla bills) away. I also like that the company is owned by women who give back to women who may not have access to period care. I am seriously mad I got all the way to my 40’s before realizing cups are the way to go BTW- once you get past the learning curve (and yeah, it for sure takes a cycle or three to get the hang of it), my period is no longer such a pain in the ass. Well, obviously it still is a little, but for sure way less of one.

Apple AirPods

I have gone through about 17000 variations of arm bands, pockets, bluetooth devices, and fanny packs trying to listen to music or podcasts at the gym. My husband finally convinced me to YOLO and buy a pair of AirPods, and they are PURE WIZARDRY. I don’t even know why I resisted for so long. I haven’t ever liked the earbuds that come with Apple products, but somehow these feel mostly invisible in my ears, and yeah, they don’t fall out! I use them everywhere, too- not just the gym. Washing dishes? AirPods. Cleaning my office? AirPods. Grocery shopping? AirPods. The charge lasts forever- did you know they charge right in the case?? I probably charge them once a week or so, but I’ve never even come close to draining them. If I had any complaints, it’s that I wish they would get just a tiny bit louder, but it’s probably better for my health if they don’t. 😉

Spindrift Sparkling Water

For whatever reason, I, along with the hipsters, can’t get enough of sparkling water lately. BUT HAVE YOU TRIED SPINDRIFT?? It is sparkling water with real juice squeezed in!! Not a lot- just like, if you squeezed a lemon wedge into your drink. It’s enough, though, to make it crazy good. Like, CRAZY good. Does it add a few calories? Sure, but the worst offender (grapefruit) only has 15 calories per can. I haven’t gotten my hands on every flavor yet (so far I’ve only found it at Target and Costco), but the blackberry and grapefruit are worth having in your fridge AT ALL TIMES.

Lyn

Drunk Elephant, everything: Okay–maybe not EVERYTHING–but a lot. This girl ain’t loyal when it comes to skin care products and I’m notorious for bouncing around and trying lots of things to see what’s magic. Well–I think Drunk Elephant might be it! My top favorite is the T.L.C. Framboos™ Glycolic Night Serum. It is pricey, but a little goes a long way and the results are immediate. It’s crazy to me how incredibly different my skin feels in the morning after using it at night. I also find the Lala Retro™ Whipped Cream is luxuriously divine. Wanna give them a shot and see what you think? The minis pack The Littles™ is a great introduction to the line.

Urban Decay, Born to Run eyeshadow palette: I’m really unclear why this palette didn’t get much love when it came out. The layout is great–especially if you generally dislike the long, skinny shadow structure of the Naked palettes–this one is in squares and the rows act like little mini palettes. The color range is very unique and offers a lot of new looks. I also like that the palette itself is thin, but sturdy and it has a huge mirror so it’s great for travel. Definitely a good deal with 21 shadows and a lot of room to play.

Marc Jacobs Beauty, Enamored Hydrating Lip Gloss Stick: I tried one of these in Sugar, Sugar and then went HAM and bought a bunch. I’m crazy for these in so many ways. They are a gloss–but a stick and not goopy or sticky or messy. I think even you would like them, Jess! They give the perfect amount of reflection to make your lips look full and fab. And layered over pencils gives them even more versatility. Definitely worth the price.

Norman Kamli, Kamali Kulture Go Crew Neck Dress: This is the greatest, easiest dress of all time. I know that sounds crazy and like a huge over-exaggeration, but it’s not. It’s an instant classic LBD. It’s100% flattering, super soft, simple to pack, no wrinkle, forgiving, like pajamas but classy, any occasion dress. Put Vans on and it’s casual. Throw a necklace on and heels and it’s dressy. Grab boots and it’s somewhere in the middle. With tights–it’s perfect for winter. No tights–it’s a spring/fall/cool summer day dream. If I could wear it every day, I would. I honestly might order another one to have a back up, I love it that much.

photo courtesy of shopbop.com

Apple, AirPods: Jess and I were going to do a joint review of these magical wonders, but never got around to it. (aah, life.) I agree with everything she said. I also bought them because Michael Boggs told me to–in fact–Team Boggs drove me to the Apple store and went with me to get them. I keep them in my pocket and use them constantly. They are super convenient so you can just pop them on and go. I walk a lot and always have them on, even if I’m just going a few blocks. They are also the only way I’ll talk on the phone anymore. I will legit tell someone I’ll call them back so I can grab them, if they aren’t immediately available. You don’t have to yell when talking and you can hear perfectly. Unlike Jess, I have had them die on me, but I’m also spacey about charging them. Which is silly because they charge super fast. I think it’s less than an hour to bring them back to full capacity. The only downsides are the volume isn’t super loud which Jess mentioned–I guess it’s good because it makes it so you can still be aware of your surroundings when walking with them–but on some podcasts I feel like I’d like a little more juice. When you wear them on an airplane, you have to keep your Bluetooth on to have them paired with your phone, so you can’t go into full “airplane” mode. And I do feel a little self-conscious wearing them because they are kinda douchey looking and I lose the effect of traditional headphones that say “I can’t hear you so don’t talk to me.” But aside from those few things, I can’t say enough about what a game changer they were for me this year. Bonus–I’ve had them for six months and haven’t lost them, which is huge!

(and side note: yes to fenty beauty too! and there are 10 new mattemoiselle plush matte lipsticks–thicc being my favorite!)

Schitt’s Creek: Another shout-out to Jess–she called this one and was ON ME  (and you) to watch it–and she was so right. I haven’t been this excited about a show in a long time. And it’s coming back on January 16th so you have time to get caught up before the new season comes out, if you didn’t take her advice the first time around to check it out. I’m the worst at binge-watching and we blew through this faster than any series ever. Also–my closet goals = David Rose and Dan Levy is a great IG follow, if you’re not already on it.

 

Milwaukee Bucks: YOU GUYS!!!! We have the best team in the entire NBA!!!! Seriously!!! We are #1 right now!!! I told you not to sleep on the Bucks two years ago and I’m telling you again–get on it!!! #fearthedeer

HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone! We love you all so much and are excited for new products, adventures and all the everything and nothings life invariably throws at us. We’d love to hear what rocked your world in 2018 or things you’d like us to check up on for you in upcoming posts. 

Because if 2018 taught us anything–life can be much too much sometimes (and also that it’s okay to declare “it’s my turn to take a selfish!”)–and 2019 could be more of the same.

So let’s do 2019 better–together.